Grief is not performative. That’s why we can’t talk about it at work.
Workplaces are built around predictability and control.
Grief is the opposite of both.
Grief does not schedule itself.
It does not follow agendas.
It does not fit into productivity metrics or quarterly goals.
It interrupts.
And interruption is what modern work cultures try hardest to eliminate.
So grief becomes something we are expected to privatize.
You take your three bereavement days.
You return composed.
You prove you are “back.”
But grief doesn’t work like that. It moves in spirals.
It shows up in strange moments: while answering emails, in the middle of meetings, when a song plays on the way to work.
Workplaces know how to handle performance.
They know how to measure output, efficiency, and resilience.
But grief cannot be performed convincingly without becoming something else. Without becoming a mask.
And masks are what organizations are comfortable with.
So we say:
“I’m fine.”
“I’m holding up.”
“I’m managing.”
Not because it’s true, but because there is no cultural container for grief in professional spaces.
And yet grief is one of the most human experiences we share.
It is proof that something mattered.
That someone mattered.
That a part of our world has shifted.
When grief enters a room, the room changes.
Workplaces fear that change.
But the paradox is this: grief widens the heart.
The tragedy is not that grief disrupts work.
The tragedy is that work cultures are so fragile they cannot hold grief without collapsing into discomfort.
So we hide it.
Not because grief is shameful.
But because grief refuses to perform.
If you’re interested in learning more about my services and would like to discuss any consultancy, workshops, talks, please reach out.
Consider also subscribing to the newsletter to stay updated and receive weekly inspiration.
Every month, I spend hours and resources for you to receive both the newsletter & blog regularly and free. A thoroughly one-woman labor. If this labor makes your own life more livable in any way, please consider aiding its sustenance with a one-time or loyal donation. Your support makes all the difference. Donation link here.