Does it really matter if some performative husk of a self finds an illusory home in the arms of the world, while a deeper, truer essence remains safely tucked away? J. Fields
Performance has permeated every level of society with profound and deep implications rooted in shame, blame and rejection... The fear of rejection is one of our deepest human fears. Biologically wired with a longing to belong, we fear being seen in a critical way. We have a lingering, incessant fear of being seen and judged which, often, too often, leads us into performing rather than being.
Performance anxiety is the fear about one’s ability to perform a specific task. The symptoms of performance anxiety are: physiological, behavioural and mental. People experiencing performance anxiety may worry about failing a task before it has even begun. They might believe failure will result in humiliation or rejection.
You might be thinking that this isn’t relevant to you... Think further, do you feel like you have to perform at a certain level to be "accepted" by your colleagues, family, friends? Experiment writing down the answer to this question without overthinking and editing yourself. What comes up? Read it back to yourself after you feel you have let everything out. You might be surprised by how different it feels to write down your thoughts and emotions rather than thinking of them. It can be liberating!
My wish is we learn ways to accept our being human and close the gap between performing and being.
Few lines of inspiration from The Whisper
Being
"The grandeur and the limits of being
I forgive my being a finite body
Containing the infinite soul
In the spiritual terrain of memories
I start a dialogue with the Whisper
The mystery and the adventure of my life writing
poetry
Listening to the world
Being..."
Can we accept the grandeur and limits of our being?
What changes when we do so?
What is at the heart of your being?
Journal about these inquiries and let me know how it goes.
If you’re interested in learning more about RNEWB services and would like to discuss any consultancy, workshops, and talks, drop us a line at fateme@rnewb.com.
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