There's a voice in the back of our minds that plays off our greatest anxieties. Its sound is judgmental and controlling, not simply mean but a way of coping with fear, shame, and the unknown.
"The critic is a character left over from caveman times, times concerned with sheer survival" - J. Cameron
Psychologists explain that: "The critical inner voice is a well-integrated pattern of destructive thoughts toward ourselves and others. The nagging “voices,” that make up this internalised dialogue are at the root of much of our self-destructive and maladaptive behaviour.”
Don’t be fooled by the idea that the critical inner voice is a moral guide towards higher standards. On the contrary, it is degrading and punishing and often leads us to make unhealthy decisions. A sort of internal enemy that affects every aspect of our lives, our self-esteem and confidence, our relationships, our performance and accomplishments.
These judging voices tend to increase our feelings of self-hatred without motivating us to change undesirable qualities or act in a constructive manner. Instead we make actions correspond to self-attacks.
It is a cultural norm to believe that criticism or guilt-induced comments will motivate behaviour. Perhaps the thinking is that if we realise that our actions aren’t good enough or ideal, we’ll want to change. We make “helpful” critical comments to reinforce and control our behaviour or control other’s feelings. Our inner critic cripples out not only when speaking to ourselves but also in the way we speak to our friends, children, employees…
When ashamed by the inner critic, we feel flawed, we feel we don’t deserve to be in connection with others (nor with the parts of ourselves which are flawed). The persistent judgemental self-talks that keep us stuck disconnect us from others and teach us to feel alone.
Listening to the critic, believing its prescriptions and prohibitions leads to (self)-limiting behaviour.
We might be tempted to conquer or tame the inner critic, instead I invite you to connect deeper so to understand and learn.
What if we replaced the critic with compassion?
What if we were not a broken product to be fixed by the inner critic but a process of becoming to be listened to?
What if we did not dismiss our original (as “belonging to the origin or beginning of something”) voice/thought and revered to as holy?
So let’s learn artfully together by making some art with these inquiries. Yes, even if the inner critic says it’s a waste of time, it doesn’t make any sense, you are not an artis!
This is my poetic gift to you (from The Whisper )
Perseverance
The perseverance into inner inquiry opens the path
The pathway to the inner voice and the outer call
The chaos arising from the absence of center
The clarity found in the dance of darkness and light
In the uncertainty of power and vulnerability.
If you’re interested to learn more about our knowledge and experience and would like to discuss how we could support through our consultancy, workshops, and talks, drop us a line at fateme@rnewb.com.
Consider also subscribing to the newsletter to stay updated and receive weekly inspiration on more heART for a more human Business.