“Touch is one of the most forgotten languages.” —Osho
A recent study published on TED looks at the effects on our wellbeing due to prolonged isolation. The study looks particularly at the impact of lack of touch. “Our bodies are designed to respond to touch, and not just to sense the environment around us. We actually have a network of dedicated nerve fibers in our skin that detect and emotionally respond to the touch of another person — affirming our relationships, our social connections and even our sense of self. So, what happens when we don’t receive that?
We live in times in which not only we are starved for physical affection but, even scared of proximity. Touch eases pain, lifts depression and is vital for us: "Babies who are not held, nuzzled, and hugged enough can stop growing, and if the situation lasts long enough, even die." Nurturing touch is necessary for the brain to learn to connect human contact with pleasure. This association is one of the foundations of empathy: we connect first through soothing touch and shared smiles.
I have not touched or hugged another human since the pandemic started in March 2020. What about you? Who of you is in a similar deprivation of touch? I have noticed within me a reduced empathy and an increased feeling of being an outcast. At first I didn’t give it too much attention and thought it was simply because I was tired or overwhelmed. As the time passed, I saw a pattern. I saw it could be the prolonged isolation I found myself in and, started asking myself many questions.
What happens to us when we are starved for touch? Do we become more prone to anger and violence? Do we become more subjective to predators and ideologies? Do we seclude ourselves into untouchable beings in an attempt to cope?
We have to find ways to touch and be touched. We must find ways for and to empathy, nurturing each other so that something can change for the wellbeing of all. The impact of diminished empathy affects our ability to design for change and even to relate to one another as it changes our ability to listen truly and deeply.
Sometimes I feel we touch with cold cleverness and data supremacy the warm needs for love, for being seen, for belonging...and that touch isn’t nurturing but controlling.
Empathy isn’t an abstract concept or a buzz word. It is very real and is created through and from affectionate touch. How can we re-establish a trust for touch and a touch for trust? I would love for us to be touched by a dialogue nurtured with empathy. Perhaps, we may start by getting in touch with our "untouched selves". What they ask for? “To touch can be to give life” (Michelangelo)
May this poem “Sitting at the Intersection” be a chance to touch and be touched.
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