One of the "most effective" ways to hold us and others back is comparison. There has always been things to compare just by looking around. An omnipresent temptation that has increased its power thanks to social media (the use of social media).
“The reason we struggle with insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” ― Steven Furtick
When we look at those highlight reels our brains are tempted to compare the polished, edited, carefully curated and perfected propaganda of someone else’s life to our messy backstage reality. We might feel we have to " keep up" to satisfy that desired highlights. "Maybe I should enrol in that course. Maybe I should do a spring detox. Maybe I should do more yoga. Maybe I should just go buy those yoga pants and pretend I look like that"…Do you spot a theme?
Comparing is the prelude to competition.
Competition is the beginning of labelling.
Labelling is the exclusion of others’ truth. (Excerpt from Freevolution)
This happens partly because we’ve been conditioned into a scarcity mindset which is based on competition, comparison and measuring. It is by moving away from comparison we might allow collaboration (with our own selves, with others and the world as whole). It is true collaboration that brings to innovation.
We don’t see the back stage, the backstory while busy comparing and admiring the highlight. Yet the story starts there! The story starts in the back stage, in the shadow, in the dark. Can you listen to the back side story? What does it say?
When the veils part, we find out how messy life, learning, evolving are. This is exactly what I felt when I wrote Back Side (a poem from Tea of Tibet). In hope it moves you to lift the veils of comparison.
Back side
Where the apparent order leaves space to reality
Where a woman hangs the working clothes washed with soap and sweat
Where flags dance with the wind
Where the voices come up unseparated in a day to day conversation
Where the deities watch the flowers blossom
Where a cat hides to find rest
Back side of lives lived full front
The reason we struggle comparing the backside with the highlight
Where insecurity becomes a messy balcony on the back side
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